What is the purpose of therapy?

I sometimes get asked this question from people who haven’t been to therapy or even those who been in therapy but have come to an impasse in their therapy journey.

I often tell my clients that it is about having someone reflect back the things you’ve always wondered about yourself. You may receive validation for that felt sense but never really understood it’s importance. You may receive knowledge and know that your experience may be a common human experience and that it’s ok to think and feel those things because we all do at some point. Or you may receive empathic confrontation to challenge some of those maladaptive thought patterns that keep you stuck in a loop. The main aim of therapy, in my opinion, is always the same….getting to know yourself and being curious with all the parts of you. Even getting to know the voices in your head that sometimes sound harsh or scary.

This might take the form of constructing a cohesive narrative about your life story so you can see how you’ve arrived where you are today. All the trials and tribulations, the moments of triumph and despair, the acts of courage and bravery, the tender moments of vulnerability and of wishing of a better life.

Sometimes people can find their answer to their questions from their own self-reflection, learnings from the obscure everyday experiences or interactions with others. The most telling and key areas to work from are often relationships with other people that bring to the surface deep and implicit experiences from childhood. These experiences leave one with a “felt sense that is painful or unsettling” well into adulthood and may be difficult to uncover on your own.

Many people who have gone through this journey of discovering “the Self” learn to manage their inner world, that is their thoughts and feelings, and have a better understanding of their behaviours on the outside too. This congruence is key to feeling “at one” with yourself…just like a river flowing that moves everyday without much effort…you final arrive at place of cohesion, stability and valued sense of being.